BFP!!!!

Holy freaking moly.


I am going to be a Mom.


It all happened on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009, when, having felt guilty for having a 2 (DELICIOUS) glasses of wine with dinner, I decided to take a pregnancy test, just for peace of mind. Instead, I got this:
















Now, don't get me wrong, I was THRILLED. Stunned. Over the moon. A hundred billion thoughts started racing through my head. Could this really be? I ran downstairs and asked Dave if he could identify what it was that I was holding in my trembling hand. After that, we spent a good 30 minutes decided if it really was what we thought it was... and deciding if the faint second line was just our brains playing tricks on us. (That's two tricky brains if so!) We both agreed that a confirmatory blood test was essential, until we told anyone at all. Talk about a sleepless night!!! I couldn't turn my mind off to get more than an hour's worth of consistent sleep all night, I was just too excited. The first thing I did when I woke up on Thursday was call the doc. They told me the soonest they could get me in was Friday morning.

Friday morning rolls around, blood is drawn, and I'm told that they will call me "this afternoon" with the results.

LONGEST.AFTERNOON.EVER.


Finally, around 3:45 pm, the call comes in. My heart was pounding. The nurse congratulates me, and says, "Your levels look really good!" (whatever that means...) So I placed the call to the Daddy-to-be to let him know the good news. It was really important to me to wait until I could tell Mom and Dad in person, and they'd just left for a weekend in Albany, so we had to keep the good news to ourself for just a few more days.


So here I am. Blogging about it all. Mostly because we've made a decision only to tell a VERY select few people, until we are further along. At this point, today, I am only about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, which is so early... and we'd like to wait until things are a little more substantial. And it royally sucks because, by the time I make this blog public to those who might be interested, I'll have already known for several weeks/months, and will have kept this unbelievably exciting news from some of my most nearest and dearest friends and family. And it's killing me not to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I come in contact with. However, this is how it has to be, and so in order to get it all off my chest, I will blog. So for those of you who may read this later and be upset or hurt that you didn't know sooner, please understand, it's just how we wanted it to be.

So... since first taking the positive last Wednesday, I have visited a plethora of baby-related websites. And let me tell ya - there is some really good info out there! But there is also a lot of scary information. Stuff that you would never have thought of until you read it, and then you worry yourself sick thinking, "OMG what if that is me?" I am learning the pregnancy lingo (i.e. BFP = Big Fat Positive!), and getting a lot of good feedback from other moms-to-be online. And whenever I read something that puts my mind into a tailspin again, I have to keep reminding myself that, 30 years ago when our parents all went through this with us, they didn't have the internet to scare them into oblivion about the "what ifs." They were just pregnant. And hoped for the best. And that's exactly what we're gonna do with our little one! So, think good thoughts for Baby Rolston #1!


Congratulations to us! HOORAY! We're gonna be parents!!!!!!!