9 weeks, 1 day

Hi. Here I am again. I lapsed because I took a break from blogging whilst at the shore with the fam. I got some MUCH needed R & R, got to spend some quality time with the folks, and got a little bit of a suntan, which was nice. I also managed to tear my way through Eclipse (the third installment of the Twilight series) which ended up being a pleasant experience. As I've discussed with a few friends... it's a series that I love to hate to love. It's really not that good... I mean hell... the series was designed for teenage girls... but I'm still enjoying them. I just bought the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, today at Target. So hopefully I can make a dent in that this weekend. And Dave once again gets to take advantage of his built-in DD for wedding #3 of the summer, which is tomorrow evening. Lucky him!

So, as for Baby McRolston (as a few have started calling him/her) is concerned, here is the update:

Baby's now the size of a green olive! Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like...well...a baby!

Last Friday, we had our fourth ultrasound with Dr. Glassner @ Main Line Fertility. Baby was growing right on schedule, and my levels were apparently just where he wanted them to be. So, he gave us his blessing and sent us on our way! HOORAY! This was extremely exciting news. Though, I have to say, I was being pampered... having ultrasounds on a weekly basis and getting that constant reassurance that everything was moving along as it should have been. But alas, I will have to join the ranks of thousands and thousands of other pregnant women worldwide who have to just hurry up and wait several weeks for each appointment. So now, my journey begins with my regular OB/GYN. I actually had an appointment there on Monday the 20th, and I have to say, I did NOT care for the Doc with whom I had the appointment. The person I'd been seeing for the past several years at that practice is actually a Physician's Assistant, and I guess though she's been qualified to treat me before, she can't see me through the pregnancy all the way. Which is a total bummer... seeing as I've developed a relationship with her and like her a lot. And it never occured to me in years past to even ask if she would see me through any future pregnancies... I just assumed yes. But, I'm hoping that, over the next several visits I can see a few different docs and find one I like. It's recommended that you see several in your practice anyway because you never know who is going to be around/on call/available when you actually deliver. My next appointment is on Monday the 17th, and I see yet a different doc then, so hopefully I'll have better luck.

But the good news is, Baby Rolston is still in there cooking away, growing fast, and giving me several bouts of on-again-off-again nausea, but otherwise... all is well!!!

Back to Baby

Soooo... ultrasound #3 was on Friday. Baby Rolston's heart is beating at about 130 BPM (which seemed to be OK by the ultrasound tech's expectations) and is measuring at about 8 mm! It was neat to compare the 3 ultrasound photos we've had taken so far, and see just how much it's growing... makes us really excited to see photos of this kid when I'm 3+ months along! It's so amazing! Additionally, Dr. Glassner told us that he's very pleased with the embryo's growth and that, if things continue to develop at the same rate, then we may not have to keep seeing him anymore! Hooray!!! Though I must say, it's been quite a comfort to know that every Friday we're getting updates on the health and progress of the baby... but my wallet (and my shitty insurance company) will appreciate the less frequent visits to Main Line Fertility! But, the good news is, once he doesn't need to see us anymore, it means we've passed the threshold of major risk for miscarriage, so that means (God willing!) smooth sailing after that.

But I still feel great, with the exception of a few bouts of nausea here and there. I am extraordinarily tired, though... and these late night soccer games are very soon going to be a thing of the past. I will probably play for 2-3 more weeks, which will take me to approximately 10 weeks, give or take a few days. And that will be it for me. Sad, but necessary for Baby Rolston's safety!

Dave's Mom has already shared with me that she's begun buying a multitude of things for her future grandchild. If my Mom has purchased anything, she hasn't shared that info. I personally have only bought two items so far... I won't allow myself to really shop for this kid until we are much further down the line.

I am starting to really itch to tell people. I find myself telling random strangers, in the store, at the bank, etc. I SO BADLY want to share our news with the world, but I'm still apprehensive and want to wait just a few more weeks. We're at approximately 8 now, so we think at about 10, we'll be ready to finally share. It's gonna be a long two weeks!

Both "Nanas" have told me that they are struggling to keep the news in. (yes that could indeed get confusing if they're both gonna be called Nana...) Especially Dave's Mom, who is the last of ALL of her friends to have grandchildren, and though she puts on a front acting as though it's not very important to her, cannot WAIT to brag to everyone that she finally has one on the way. I was shopping with my Mom on Friday night and she admitted that she's having a hard time containing the news too. Soon enough, everyone. Soon enough. I promise.

You think this isn't hard for me?!?!?!?!? I just want to scream it from the rooftops... I'M GONNA BE A MOMMY!

Sambora Harley Rolston

Since this blog is primarily about Baby Rolston, I should write about the original Baby Rolston... my four-legged son Sammy. He is the absolute light of our lives. I've not yet come across one person who has met Sam and not fallen in love. Dave and I cannot believe how lucky we got with Sam's personality - he is so loving, so goofy, and such a good boy in general. Shortly after his litter was first born (on December 16, 2007), we were sent photos of them, two boys, four girls.

This was Sammy at four weeks:

We weren't really sure from looking at the pictures, which one we'd end up wanting.
But we knew we'd have to go down to MD to meet them in person, to make the ultimate decision. And because our dear friends Dave and Suzi only lived about 30 minutes from Mary and Sheilah (the breeders), we figured we could make a weekend trip and kill two birds with one stone.
So, at the end of January, we made the trek to pick out our future child. We were the first to go see the puppies so we were told we could have the pick of the litter. I was pretty dead set on a boy, but I was willing to keep an open mind and just see which of the dogs really stuck out to us.
When we finally got there, we were swarmed by six adorable little Berner pups scrambling around the yard. I remember the sheer excitement as I realized the possibilities! We were
introduced to each of them, but Dave and I immediately fell in love with the same one... the runt of the litter, who was originally named Teddy. He wasn't the most outgoing of the bunch, or the best looking per se, but we both instantly knew this would be our baby.

Leaving Maryland that day was the worst thing EVER. I did not want to leave that little puppy behind! But we knew that he wasn't quite ready to leave his Mama yet, and that we would come back and get him a month later when we got back from our little vacation that we had coming up. The breeders had graciously offered to keep him until our return, so at least we knew he'd be in the best of care until we were able to take him home with us in March.
But two weeks later, we had a free Sunday, and we decided that we wanted to go back down and visit our baby again. He was all we could think about that entire time! So down we drove, back to Maryland... and when we arrived, only Mary was there. And that day, she changed our lives forever. She strongly suggested that we take him home; that even though we had a vacation coming up in two weeks... we would miss so many cute puppy moments if we didn't... and she really wanted us to have that chance! She said that if we brought him back down before we went away, they would still keep him for us while we were on the cruise. All of his brothers and sisters had already gone to their forever homes, and he was ready to come to us. So... against our better judgement, and without any preparations made at home, we went home with our furbaby. He rode in my arms, crying at first and scrambling to get out, and then finally settled in and slept. It was so special. I could not believe we did it! I couldn't wait to watch him grow up into the amazingly wonderful dog he has now become.

Sam and Mommy

Sam's first experience with snow

cute little feet!

Daddy teaching Sam to lie down

Growing so fast!

Sam and his best friend, Kiwi the corgi

Classic!

Sammy Rolston

Discontinued...

I have a really bad habit... of falling in love with products that end up being discontinued. And, it's happened more times than I'd like to count. For example, I had a favorite body wash/lotion scent from Bath and Body Works - Grapefruit Peppermint. Discontinued. I had a favorite soft drink - Schweppes raspberry ginger ale. Discontinued. (and then they did it to me again with the original Cherry 7Up!) . My favorite candle scent at Yankee Candle - discontinued. My favorite deodorant - discontinued. And so on, and so forth. And I could keep going! There are obviously alternative options, but it's never the same. And I want my products! Like take for example, the cranberry ginger ale that is still available. It's good... but, it's not the same. And now my poor dog is experiencing discontinuation of a favorite item... I used to get him these compressed pigshide bones at Giant (because pigshide is easier for them to digest than rawhide) - they are now discontinued. They have ten million other products that made the cut, but not the Piggy Bones. Poor Sam. I know, I know, he's just a dog, and doesn't know the difference, but I'm starting to take all of these cancelled products personally! What gives! Why can't they discontinue something that I DON'T use?! I'm not sure I can take any more!!!

We Have a Heartbeat!!!

I had my second ultrasound on Friday morning... and Dave and I were able to see Baby Rolston's little heart flicker!!! It was the craziest thing; the baby is smaller than a grain of rice at the moment, but we could see the little heart beating away. It was very powerful. My baby has a heartbeat!!!! Just to see that, to know, that he or she is in there growing and thriving... it really made me feel great. And a little more confident about this whole thing. They didn't measure the heartrate yet, but hopefully at the next u/s they will give us some good news about that!
Which is good because I am about to enter what is going to be a hellish few weeks/months at work... and I need something too keep my mind off how bad it's going to be.

Cargo

Hooray! A non-baby related post!

People know I love dogs. More than people, in some cases. And people know that I have been a willing dogsitter in the past. And most of the time, I'm happy to comply, knowing I can bank favors for when we need to leave our furbaby for a night or three. So we've had a bunch of dogs here at 22 Queen Lane. We've had a few hellish houseguests, and a few that caused no problem, but ultimately, Sam definitely likes having buddies around to play with.

This week it's Cargo. Cargo is my friends Jen and Ryan's 6 month old golden retriever puppy. Other than having a ton of energy, he is very sweet. He's been staying with us since Monday afternoon, and everything had been relatively uneventful until last night.

Dave and I decided to take Cargo and Sam to the park because it was so nice out, and we didn't want them cooped up in the house all night. So we load up the pups into the Soob and head down to Oaks. We got ourselves situated, and the let the dogs off leash. I kept a close eye on Cargo, because he is new to the park and still pretty young, but he is a good size and can pretty much hold his own. Well, apparently I was wrong. A large rottweiler started sniffing him profusely, which resulted in Cargo on his back. Then two other dogs came over and started pushing him around, and the next thing I knew, he was on the ground screaming, as a large bulldog had sunk his teeth into poor Cargo's leg. Luckily, the bulldog's owner was responsible and gave us their info once it was decided that Cargo indeed needed to go to the vet to have his wounds checked out.

Two hours, four surgical staples, and an Elizabethan collar later, we brought the shaky little guy home. He is taking Amoxicillian as precautionary measure, and the doctor did warn me it could make his little tummy a little sick...

...fast forward a few hours.

I fell asleep last night on the couch at about 11:00, and finally stumbled upstairs to bed around 1:30. At 5:45 I heard whimpering downstairs, where Cargo was in his crate and Sam was on the couch. I groggily pulled on my clothes, and went downstairs to let the boys out. Yawning profusely, I walked Cargo for a good 5-10 minutes; he did what he seemingly had to do. We came back in as Sam lingered outside. I made a quick pitstop myself... couldn't have been more than 2 minutes... and when I came out, Cargo had left a 3 foot long trail of poop on my family room carpet. And it was NASTY. Now, one of the symptoms you experience when pregnant is a heightened sense of smell. This did NOT benefit me this morning. I wanted to be angry at him... I mean, come on, we HAD just been outside for a nice little walk... but the poor guy just looked up at me from his little cone collar and I couldn't. Luckily, we were well stocked with carpet cleaning products from the last poor-mannered houseguest we had last fall. So, here it is, 6:45 am, an hour after the incident, and I'm awake. There is no hope of going back to sleep at this point, as, though I've sprinkled several products on the affected area, the smell is definitely still pungent and probably will be for awhile.

I do know that, though I thought I learned my lesson before, it has definitely sunk in now. I'm pretty sure Lindy and Dave's days of dogsitting are over. And I thank God every day that we haven't replaced our carpets yet. Each doggie accident that occurs on here makes me realize that is just about time to really make that happen, especially now that we have a kid on the way!

I know most people say no way, don't get new carpets with a baby in your future, but I don't want my kid crawling around in other dogs' shit. No thank you!

Will I?

So, clearly, I am completely consumed with thinking about this child I am in the process of manifesting. And because I don't have a ton of people with whom I can talk about it (nor do I think people wish to talk about my forthcoming child 24/7 like I do), I am blogging about it. A lot. So skip this entry if you're already sick of hearing about baby stuff.

Last night I was lying on the couch watching 18 Kids and Counting, the show about the Duggar family, on TLC. 18 flippin kids. I can hardly imagine having one, and these people have EIGHTEEN. Unreal. And then I started thinking about Michelle Duggar. She must be the freaking mother of the millenium... to feel confident that she should be able to bring 18 children into this world, nuture them, love them, care for them, etc.
And then I got to thinking about myself. What about me? Will I be a good Mom? Will I be able to take care of this kid properly? Will I know what to do and when to do it? I am terrified at the thought of this... and I'm only having ONE, not eighteen. I'm told by a lot of people that a lot of motherhood is instinctual, and a lot of it just comes naturally, but I'm still pretty nervous about my abilities. I mean, let's face it people, I am a huge slob. I leave dishes in the sink. I leave clothes on the floor. I'm trying REALLY hard to change these things about myself, especially now that I will have another person for whom I must be responsible, but... old habits die hard.
But then again, I am really good at many of the things I do. I keep our family's finances in order. I pay our bills on time, every month. I keep food in the fridge. I schedule appointments for all necessary maintenance, be it household, health, or the like. I am very quickly getting us out of most of the debt we've accrued. So... I guess being a lazy slob doesn't look so bad when you look at everything else I do. It's not as if
But, back to being a Mom... I have always been good with kids. From babysitting from a very young age, to being a camp counselor at different places for summers on end, to watching five little cousins grow up, I enjoy working with them and tend to bond with them pretty solidly. But at the end of the day, I've always given them back. I've never had one to call my own before, to have to make decisions for, to have to raise. And it scares the living shit out of me. And, though it's not quite the same, I have had some experience being a Mommy to my four-legged baby. He still requires attention and time and needs to be considered in most situations, and we have raised him from a puppy, so that has given us some initial practice, but I realize having a human child is going to be so much different. And Dave is great with kids. Whenever we go somewhere where there are children, whether they're cousins or our friend's kids, Dave is always right down on the floor playing with them, romping around with them, and they just adore him. So I know Baby Rolston will just love his/her Daddy to pieces. But that's all well and good for playtime... what about when the serious stuff rolls around? How do you prepare yourself for all of that?!
Though last summer, when we were introduced to our friend's baby for the first time, Dave didn't even want to hold him, in fear that he might drop him or hurt him. Even though the baby's father scooped him up into his arm as if he were holding a football. I think maybe that was a little reassuring to Dave. I suppose that is a fear we're both going to have to get over as soon as our little one arrives. But I guess we still have a good 7+ months to work that fear out.
We are so blessed that we have two sets of really amazingly supportive parents who undoubtedly will be there to help us along the journey... and we have lots of friends who are awesome parents and I know they'll provide helpful information when asked, but still... I know we're gonna have our hands fuller than we can possibly imagine and I really hope we are both up to the task!

The internet is for porn!

...okay, maybe not exclusively. That's actually the title of a song from the broadway musical, "Avenue Q." However, at the moment, I am thoroughly disgusted with the internet and its infinite wealth of information... both good and bad. I am disgusted because, as a 30 year old woman in the very early stages of pregnancy, I am cautiously optimistic about embracing this thing I have growing inside me, because of everything I've read on the goddamned internet.


I mentioned this before, but really... I have to keep remembering the many years (ok, the many THOUSANDS of years) that women have been having babies, when there was no internet, and there was no google to look up your symptoms when you convince yourself that something is wrong. You have a slight twinge of pain in your lower back and suddenly you are ready to check yourself into the hospital and are expecting the worst.

It doesn't help that, since I am so early in the pregnancy, so far my symptoms are practically non-existant. NOT that I am wishing for morning sickness... not one iota. However, it might make it all feel more REAL if I did actually feel like I was pregnant. Though the sore boobs are definitely an indication of something going on... but, since I am not feeling any sort of way, of course I start googling everything just to get some more feedback.

One website will tell you one percentage, another gives you an entirely different number, and you have to wonder where people are getting their information. Don't they say that approximately 40% of all statistics are made up anyway?

Regardless, it's disconcerting to read about all of the what-ifs, that you might not have thought about before. And everyone is suddenly a subject-matter expert. I'm operating under the pretense that my Doctor gets paid the big bucks because he knows what he's doing and what he says will ultimately be what I go by, but I can't help but wonder if all of these other people might have some validity behind what they are saying.

The list keeps expanding of the do's and don'ts... from alcohol to hair dye to caffeine to fish (mercury) to lunch meat... and so on and so forth. I'm still a firm believer in "everything in moderation,"and while I don't intend to do anything harmful to this baby while it's depending on me as its lifeline... a little cup of coffee now and again will be ok.

So in conclusion, I believe the internet should be designated for porn. And blogging. And Facebook. And Gchat. And Amazon. And... ok, so maybe I want to keep it around awhile longer but I have to make a concerted effort NOT to read baby websites on a daily basis and drive myself crazy wondering, "what if?"

Levels are good

Well, I had my first ultrasound today. Because of having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I have to see a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) throughout the first trimester, on a weekly basis. They just want to monitor me closely and make sure everything is ok. They took a blood sample (I swear I won't have any left by the time they're done with me!) and showed me a picture of the little bugger... you really couldn't see much of anything other than the yolk sac; they said that at 7 or 8 weeks there will be a much clearer image. It's amazing how fast the baby really does develop.

My hCG (which, for those who are not pregnancy-savvy yet, is human chorionic gonadatrophin) levels were apparently really good, at approximately 1600... which, given that they were at 190 when I first tested positive (God that makes me sound like Manny Ramirez!), I'd say things are coming along nicely. Apparently, the levels double every 48 hours, so I'm doing just fine. However, they do want me taking an extra progesterone supplement; my my levels are OK, but could be better, so I'm just getting a little synthetic assistance.

My next appointment is Friday the 10th, when I will be at approximately 6 weeks. My due date is now estimated at March 5th, 2010.

So, let's cross our fingers and hope for things to keep improving! Hang in there, Baby Rolston! We know you can do it!!!

BFP!!!!

Holy freaking moly.


I am going to be a Mom.


It all happened on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009, when, having felt guilty for having a 2 (DELICIOUS) glasses of wine with dinner, I decided to take a pregnancy test, just for peace of mind. Instead, I got this:
















Now, don't get me wrong, I was THRILLED. Stunned. Over the moon. A hundred billion thoughts started racing through my head. Could this really be? I ran downstairs and asked Dave if he could identify what it was that I was holding in my trembling hand. After that, we spent a good 30 minutes decided if it really was what we thought it was... and deciding if the faint second line was just our brains playing tricks on us. (That's two tricky brains if so!) We both agreed that a confirmatory blood test was essential, until we told anyone at all. Talk about a sleepless night!!! I couldn't turn my mind off to get more than an hour's worth of consistent sleep all night, I was just too excited. The first thing I did when I woke up on Thursday was call the doc. They told me the soonest they could get me in was Friday morning.

Friday morning rolls around, blood is drawn, and I'm told that they will call me "this afternoon" with the results.

LONGEST.AFTERNOON.EVER.


Finally, around 3:45 pm, the call comes in. My heart was pounding. The nurse congratulates me, and says, "Your levels look really good!" (whatever that means...) So I placed the call to the Daddy-to-be to let him know the good news. It was really important to me to wait until I could tell Mom and Dad in person, and they'd just left for a weekend in Albany, so we had to keep the good news to ourself for just a few more days.


So here I am. Blogging about it all. Mostly because we've made a decision only to tell a VERY select few people, until we are further along. At this point, today, I am only about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, which is so early... and we'd like to wait until things are a little more substantial. And it royally sucks because, by the time I make this blog public to those who might be interested, I'll have already known for several weeks/months, and will have kept this unbelievably exciting news from some of my most nearest and dearest friends and family. And it's killing me not to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I come in contact with. However, this is how it has to be, and so in order to get it all off my chest, I will blog. So for those of you who may read this later and be upset or hurt that you didn't know sooner, please understand, it's just how we wanted it to be.

So... since first taking the positive last Wednesday, I have visited a plethora of baby-related websites. And let me tell ya - there is some really good info out there! But there is also a lot of scary information. Stuff that you would never have thought of until you read it, and then you worry yourself sick thinking, "OMG what if that is me?" I am learning the pregnancy lingo (i.e. BFP = Big Fat Positive!), and getting a lot of good feedback from other moms-to-be online. And whenever I read something that puts my mind into a tailspin again, I have to keep reminding myself that, 30 years ago when our parents all went through this with us, they didn't have the internet to scare them into oblivion about the "what ifs." They were just pregnant. And hoped for the best. And that's exactly what we're gonna do with our little one! So, think good thoughts for Baby Rolston #1!


Congratulations to us! HOORAY! We're gonna be parents!!!!!!!