Taking Flight

In five days, we are flying to California. With Natalie in tow. Her very first flight. And of course it has to be a trans-continental flight, not a little jaunt to Boston or Chicago or something. I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't been suffering from major anxiety over it. Both the unknown of Natalie's behavior on her first flight, and the I've been constantly reassured by many fellow moms, that everything will be fine and I'm worrying over nothing. But - we've ALL been on a plane when there's been a baby wailing for the ENTIRE flight, and as much as you want to be sympathetic and feel for that child, it's annoying. Perhaps your feelings change once you have children of your own... maybe it does. But I know that the last time I flew a significant distance and a child cried incessantly, it drove me nuts. And I don't want my child to be at fault for irritating a plane full of California-bound passengers for SEVEN HOURS. Sure, I'm exaggerating... I really don't think Natalie will cry the entire time. I'm kind of hoping she won't cry or scream at all. But, I know that I struggled with my ears as a child (and even often as an adult) on takeoff and landing, and that part concerns me. That said, the only thing more annoying than a crying baby on a plane is a kid kicking the back of your seat the entire time. At least I can rest assured we won't have that problem - her little legs aren't long enough for that to even be an issue!

I was also slightly concerned about what I was going to do about feeding her properly while in transit. I am packing a ton of finger foods and snacks to offer her as the flight progresses, but she will likely need a proper meal (or two) while we're in flight, and I have no idea how that will be properly accomplished, especially since they no longer feed you on flights (at least not for free...). I also know the rules for bringing liquids on a plane are ridiculously stringent, and that doesn't help for a child who is reliant on organic whole milk and yogurt for the majority of her nutrition. And I certainly won't have a toaster on board to make her a frozen waffle, or a microwave for oatmeal. It's not as if I can't find milk or yogurt in the airport, but I'd really rather stick to what she's used to if at all possible. I mean, the world won't come to an end if she has to drink regular (GASP!) whole milk instead of organic for a bottle or two, but still... I knew there had to be some way around it. Breastfeeding Moms are allowed to bring pumped breastmilk on a plane, and I can't imagine they limit them to only 3 oz... so why wouldn't the rules apply to us non-breastfeeding parents as well? My Mom did some research, and it turns out, the rules are indeed bendable. So I can bring her some milk and yogurt, as long as we pack it separately and they are able to inspect it closely. At least that's according to the TSA website. I'm bringing the printout from which we obtained that information, just in case we run into any issues. Anyone whose ever traveled out of Philadelphia International Airport knows that you never know WHAT to expect when it comes to security... here's to hoping the lines aren't too crazy at 5:45 am on a Saturday.

The other good news is, there will be four adults that can help distract/entertain her - we are flying with my parents, so that will be a big help. Especially because Natalie is nutso for her Nana and Grandpa. But... I'm still having anxiety. It is a LONG time for a little person to be forced to "sit still." Hopefully we can take turns walking her up and down the aisle (one of her favorite activities is walking while holding someone's hands....) and the variety of parents/grandparents she'll have will keep her occupied. But... I'm still nervous.

I've already packed and re-packed her diaper bag about six times... trying to figure out which toys have the most significance, and which have the most potential to keep her attention the longest. Making sure I have enough finger foods and snacks to keep her full/happy. We were very fortunate to have inherited my Mom's "old" iPad when she invested in a newer model, so I've loaded that up with episodes of Wonder Pets, Sesame Street, Olivia, and plenty of games for Natalie to play with us. I bought some crayons and a blank pad of paper to see if we can get her to do some coloring (per the pediatrician's suggestion, too). I know I am worrying unnecessarily... and I'm sure everyone is right, that things will be fine. I haven't even begun to THINK about how this trip is going to throw off Natalie's schedule and habits - that's a whole other issue I will stress about when the time comes, LOL. But I won't be totally satisfied and de-stressed about the traveling issue until we land in Los Angeles on Saturday and can begin our much needed vacation!

Food Frustration

I am a crappy blogger, and realized that I haven't had anything to say about the star of this blog since her birthday. Bad Mommy.
Anyway - Natalie is 14 1/2 months old now, and turning into an incredible little lady. She is chattering up a storm, with actual words interspersed in her baby babble. Everything is "ELMO!!!" or "woof woof," or "puffs!" She says Mama and Dada also, and a few other things here and there. I know that, any day now, she's going to start talking conversationally! She's also working on walking - she's taken a few steps on her own, though she doesn't quite trust herself to do it consistently. But if we hold her hands, she'll practically run around the house, giggling as she goes! She still only has her two front teeth in the bottom, though when she smiles I can definitely see a few more that are just below the surface, waiting to push through. It's like everything is going to happen at once, and this is all the calm before the storm!
One area in which she is not excelling, unfortunately, is her eating. We began transitioning her from pureed baby food to table food around November - very slowly at first. Giving her a few bites of age appropriate foods before offering her the purees. At first she did OK - seemed to enjoy being able to self-feed and explore new tastes and textures. But as we increased the amount of table food we were giving her, the more she rejected it. Even things that I knew she liked in pureed form, like sweet potatoes, green beans, and bananas, she was rejecting in their solid form. But I wanted to be patient - let her explore the solids at her own pace, and that eventually it would pick up and she'd transition effortlessly. But it didn't happen as quickly as we would have liked.
We had a little bit of a scare back in January... I took her for her 12 month checkup, and she'd barely gained a pound since her last appointment in October. I freaked. The pediatrician told me it was nothing to really worry about - that she had become mobile since October (crawling) and that burned a lot of extra calories. But from everything I'd read, they should be eating enough calories to make up for the calories they are burning. I know that babies gradually slow down from the very rapid weight gain many of them experience in their newborn months, but this seemed overly disconcerting to me, especially since Natalie's weight had been a concern of ours since day one of her tiny little life. I disclosed to the doc that Natalie had not been eating well - in some cases, even rejecting her beloved purees. She was not very open to trying new things, even when I was CERTAIN she would like them. And this is not for lack of trying on our part. Reintroducing things day after day, and still having no luck. And of course it wasn't helping that the Facebook and social peanut gallery was offering me suggestions and asking things like, "have you tried this? have you done that? you really need to do x, y, and z..." - as if I wasn't trying EVERYTHING in the world to try to get this kid to eat. It was painfully reminiscent of our exhausting breastfeeding struggles which ended in an epic fail... but failure wasn't an option here. We had no choice, we had to get Natalie eating properly.
Once again, the doctor said we really shouldn't be concerned... that as long as she wasn't losing weight, everything was OK. But I was not fully convinced.
So, I called in reinforcements... Montgomery County Early Intervention Services.
While Natalie was in the NICU, our case worker had informed us of this program, and how we'd be eligible for services essentially until she was 2, due to her prematurity and low birth weight. And every few months since she was born, I'd been filling out questionnaires to submit to them to help them "track" her progress. If ever anything came up suspicious on the forms, they would contact me for elaboration.
In any case, emailed our case worker and let her know that I had some concerns about Natalie's eating and weight gain. They dispatched their evaluation team, consisting of the case worker herself, an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, and a behavioral therapist. They conducted their eval of Natalie and determined that, though she was measuring ahead of her adjusted age in every other area, that yes, there likely were some issues with her feeding and they were going to refer us to a team of a dietician and an OT to help work on solving the problem.
Upon meeting with the dietician the first time, and explaining to her what Natalie WOULD eat, and the things that I'd tried to offer her that she had rejected, it was decided that yes, we were on the right track, and no, there was nothing major we could be doing differently, save from a few tips and suggestions. The following week, the Occupational Therapist came, and we began exploring the problem. We determined that a lot of Natalie's issues were texture-related, which is not at all uncommon in premature children. And that some of her resistance was simply her learning that she has an opinion and is able to exert her independence by sharing it. And it was a way for her to be able to control part of her life... something she had previously not been able to do.
The truth of the matter is, she wasn't going to starve. Even if one or two meals a day were less than sufficient, she was still getting the nutrition and calories to help sustain her from her 3 times daily bottles of formula or milk (we were in the process of transitioning her at this time, too). But, I feel strongly about successfully weaning her from a bottle before she's 18 months... so I didn't want to rely too heavily on the bottle, when I knew we just had to keep plugging away with the solids. She LOVES her breakfasts... will often times eat two full Eggo waffles, the better part of a banana, sliced strawberries, or a (200 calorie!) bowl of grown-up oatmeal. So, we know she's getting more than enough food at breakfast. It's the subsequent meals that are a struggle. Especially proteins. Yogurt is always a go-to food for us - she will pretty much eat it, in any flavor, at any time. But beyond that... we have trouble. And don't get me wrong - there are a few things that Natalie will eat, and eat a decent quantity of, at that. But I never know what those things are going to be. I really wanted to avoid the much-criticized "American-kid-mac-and-cheese-chicken-nugget" diet, but I completely and totally understand why it's so popular - as these are two foods that kids will actually eat!  And even those things, as delicious as they are, she rejects sometimes. There are days that she blows my mind, and will eat everything I offer her. And other days when she would rather fire her grapes on the floor and make a mess of her tray than put anything in her mouth.
It's terribly exhausting and frustrating... and I wish there was just a magic solution that would fix it. I know it's not uncommon for kids to be picky, but Natalie's issues are beyond those of a picky eater. And I also know eventually she will work it out. But it's just another thing to check off on my list of "term baby envies" that I have running in my mind. I'm so happy for my friends and their children when I hear of the amazing milestones that they achieve and how easy things are for them... but I can't help but get a little down and feel slightly jealous sometimes too!
All of that said, Natalie is happy and healthy, and according to the dietician's scale, she had gained nearly 2 pounds in the 6 weeks since her January pediatrician appointment, so obviously something is working. But, it's still tough and mealtimes, admittedly, are my least favorite times of the day. Here's to hoping things improve soon!