Last night I began the daunting task of packing a 7 month old for the shore.
Holy hell. I need a bigger car.
Friends with kids have always said how it's challenging to travel with children, because of the sheer volume of equipment you need. But I never knew just how crazy it is. My entire guest room bed is covered in Natalie's gear, from her multitude of clothes, to a pack of diapers, to cans of formula, to her baby food, to burp cloths and bibs, to towels and blankets, to bumbo chairs and boppy pillows... oy. And this is only for a week. Luckily, the house we rent has a very efficient washer and dryer so I can certainly do a load or two if necessary. But still... it's a lot of stuff. And this is not even including the pack 'n' play in which she will sleep, and the stroller, the travel swing, and anything else I decide at the last minute that she will need for our week-long adventure. I haven't even started packing myself, I've been so consumed with making sure I have everything for her. But let's face it, we're going to New Jersey, not the Republic of the Sudan. Rite Aid and ACME are only a ten minute drive away, should I leave anything behind.
I am very very very very excited to take Natalie on her first vacation. And it will also be my first and only vacation in the last 12 months, and quite possibly for the next 6-12 months too. I cannot wait to sit in the surf with her and let the tide wash over us. I can already hear her squeals of delight (or terror)! And I think it will definitely help me decompress and relax a little bit. It'll be fun to spend the week with my parents, and I know they're going to LOVE having that precious time with Natalie. I'm kinda bummed because Dave can only stay until early Tuesday morning, but I am happy that he can at least join us for a few days.
In other news, Natalie has a new game she likes to play. It's called, "let's-freak-mommy-out-by-flipping-onto-our-belly-in-our-crib." This is a relatively new activity but it's giving me agita. Everything you hear is back back back. Back to sleep, say no to the tummy... and all along I thought it was because of a risk of suffocation. But, thanks to a good friend, I've been enlightened as to why it's not recommended... and some of my fears have been put to rest. Some. Thank you, N, for having done your research!
In any case, I experience this overwhelming desire to go into Natalie's nursery and flip her back onto her back. Which she doesn't like, I can tell you that much. She screams, and almost immediately rolls back onto her stomach. And then this brings me back to 6 weeks ago when we first introduced her to her crib, and I obsessively stared at the video monitor screen, unable to take my eyes off it, making sure she's ok. It was ridiculous, but it was the first time I'd experienced this kind of anxiety since she'd been home. And now I feel like I'm having this problem all over again. And I have to think to myself, what did people do when video monitors weren't available to consumers? Chill the eff out, Lindy. Seriously, get a grip.
Which brings me to my next point - I have been suffering from insomnia. I cannot sleep. I try, I WANT to sleep, but I cannot put my mind to rest. I want to go up to bed when Dave goes up, shortly after we put Natalie in her crib... but I'm nowhere near tired at that point. And then I get sucked into watching shitty TV or surfing the web for hours on end... and suddenly it's stupid o'clock in the morning and I'm still awake. I feel LUCKY if I get myself to sleep by 1 or 1:30. And that's on a good night.
I'm convinced this insomnia is stress-related, not even entirely Natalie related. I am stressed because my part-time job is not bringing in enough money. I am stressed because I've been applying to more part-time jobs and haven't been hearing anything back. I am stressed because I may have to return to work full time sooner than planned which means finding full time childcare, which is $$$$$. I am stressed that Dave and I hardly ever get to spend any quality time together anymore because we're either working, taking care of Natalie, or sleeping. I am stressed that Natalie isn't eating enough, because now that she sleeps longer, she doesn't get as many bottles. I am stressed because being a parent of a preemie is stressful, and it's stressful because I want Natalie to be meeting milestones for her actual age, not her adjusted age. I am stressed because, in several instances, I've been feeling underappreciated and frustrated with that. I am stressed because, well... I guess I did such a good job of not being stressed a few months ago during the REALLY truly stressful time in my life, that it's all coming back to bite me in the ass now.
But, as stated earlier in this post, hopefully our upcoming Ocean City, New Jersey getaway will help to diminish some of the stress. I could do with a few rounds of mini golf, some heated Yahtzee challenges, a few (hundred!!!) slices of Mack and Manco's pizza, and some good old fashioned vitamin D. And at least I know that listening to the peaceful sound of the rolling waves may help me sleep a little better at night, even if only for the week.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'!
Natalie can roll over now.
It started a few weeks ago, she would tentatively flip to her side from either her back or her stomach, but she wouldn't quite make it all the way over.
But things have changed. Now, pretty much anytime we put her on her stomach for tummy time, she flips over. And she's just now mastering the ability to roll over from her back onto her tummy.
Life as we know it is not far from changing entirely.
At Natalie's 6 month appointment last week, her pediatrician mentioned yet another daunting "b" word to me... baby-proofing. And I am finding it hard to believe we're even close to having that conversation! My little person is growing up so fast, and in another couple of months she may very likely be on the move. I watched my friend Kate babyproof her house for her daughter Juliette and then watched how quickly anything in Jules' path becomes an obstacle when she brings her over here. I am definitely not ready to think about how we're going to prevent Natalie from getting knee deep in electronics, DVDs, magazines, and everything else that is superfluously hanging around in our living room. Never mind the rest of the house...
But it's amazing to watch... how babies change literally on a day to day basis and are constantly learning and absorbing new things. And often you can blink your eye and miss one of them. A bunch of my friends whose daughters are all somewhat close in age to Natalie have been experiencing similar phenomena; some further along than others. Natalie's friend Noel is all but running marathons now, her friend Kaity sits up and plays like a big girl, and her friend Ryleigh has discovered how convenient it is to use rolling as a method of transportation (and how equally frustrating it is to not be able to do much more than that...)
I have to keep reminding myself that, though Natalie is close in physical age to these lovely ladies, she's still behind developmentally. And that's totally ok. But it's hard sometimes, wondering why your 6 1/2 month old isn't keeping up with the Jones', literally. But, she's met and exceeded most of the milestones for her adjusted age, and rolling is one of them. And, while I don't want to seem to eager to have my little girl grow up, it is exciting to know that she's making progress and improving each and every day. It's so funny - when they're this little, you just want them to learn and grow and reach milestones. And then, from what I hear, their childhood flies by and they start to transform from babies into kids and then so on and so forth, and you can't believe you wished away the infant days. So... I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy the little things now, and keep on laughing my head off when I watch Natalie toss her little torso back and forth with such determination!
But OMG... poor Sammy, once Natalie IS mobile. God help him.
It started a few weeks ago, she would tentatively flip to her side from either her back or her stomach, but she wouldn't quite make it all the way over.
But things have changed. Now, pretty much anytime we put her on her stomach for tummy time, she flips over. And she's just now mastering the ability to roll over from her back onto her tummy.
Life as we know it is not far from changing entirely.
At Natalie's 6 month appointment last week, her pediatrician mentioned yet another daunting "b" word to me... baby-proofing. And I am finding it hard to believe we're even close to having that conversation! My little person is growing up so fast, and in another couple of months she may very likely be on the move. I watched my friend Kate babyproof her house for her daughter Juliette and then watched how quickly anything in Jules' path becomes an obstacle when she brings her over here. I am definitely not ready to think about how we're going to prevent Natalie from getting knee deep in electronics, DVDs, magazines, and everything else that is superfluously hanging around in our living room. Never mind the rest of the house...
But it's amazing to watch... how babies change literally on a day to day basis and are constantly learning and absorbing new things. And often you can blink your eye and miss one of them. A bunch of my friends whose daughters are all somewhat close in age to Natalie have been experiencing similar phenomena; some further along than others. Natalie's friend Noel is all but running marathons now, her friend Kaity sits up and plays like a big girl, and her friend Ryleigh has discovered how convenient it is to use rolling as a method of transportation (and how equally frustrating it is to not be able to do much more than that...)
I have to keep reminding myself that, though Natalie is close in physical age to these lovely ladies, she's still behind developmentally. And that's totally ok. But it's hard sometimes, wondering why your 6 1/2 month old isn't keeping up with the Jones', literally. But, she's met and exceeded most of the milestones for her adjusted age, and rolling is one of them. And, while I don't want to seem to eager to have my little girl grow up, it is exciting to know that she's making progress and improving each and every day. It's so funny - when they're this little, you just want them to learn and grow and reach milestones. And then, from what I hear, their childhood flies by and they start to transform from babies into kids and then so on and so forth, and you can't believe you wished away the infant days. So... I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy the little things now, and keep on laughing my head off when I watch Natalie toss her little torso back and forth with such determination!
But OMG... poor Sammy, once Natalie IS mobile. God help him.
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