This is not a baby related post. This is a "Lindy is pissed off at people" post. So brace yourselves.
.
Let me begin by saying that I am sick and tired of being so damned nice. That said, I will elaborate.
I am a compulsive Outlook/iPhone calendar scheduler. I update my Outlook calendar on my computer almost daily and make sure to sync my iPhone calendar every night, so anything I've added on either end is current. I live my life by that schedule. God help the day that I lose my phone or my computer crashes and my calendar isn't up to date.
But being such an obsessive scheduler, I feel as though it makes me a more effective wife, mom, and friend. I always know where I have to be and can check my availability at a moment's notice.
I also understand that not everyone can be as organized/scheduled as me. However, I believe that I am extending the most common of courtesies to my friends when we try to find a time to get together - I check my calendar, and offer them multiple dates and times (somewhat far in advance, I might add) that might work for a rendez-vous.
So what truly pisses me off is when I offer these small gestures to help simplify life, and send emails or texts with my availability, and (some) people do not return the courtesy by even acknowledging my offer(s).
DISCLAIMER: I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND that we are a busy society and can't always respond to our friends ASAP. But come on, at least an acknowledgement in a reasonable amount of time would be appreciated. Instead, the day before one of my suggested meeting times, I feel as though I am scrambling to get in touch with the person to see if they are intending to meet up with me. And 9 out of 10 times, I get an excuse.
And here I am, keeping these proposed dates free, waiting for these people to find a time that they can "fit me in." Yet... why should I?
I am a very busy lady too. Between being a wife, a mommy, working two jobs, playing soccer, volunteering for Bark for Life, and going to the gym... I have a lot of shit going on. And I strive to still make time for the people I care about. Hence, the forward scheduling and planning. And it really feels sorta yucky when I get the feeling that people can't find or make time for me, despite my efforts to offer them SEVERAL options.
I always say I am going to just stop doing it. Not chase people down. Let them come to me if they want to see me. But I sort of know in my heart of hearts that they might not. And perhaps I should be recognizing this as a hint? That I am really not on their priority list of people for whom to make time.
Hmmmm.
Don't get me wrong. I don't expect to be everyone's best friend or top priority. But my friends mean a lot to me. And yes, I have an abundance of them. But variety is the spice of life and the people in my life shape me into who I am. Some of these "friends" are merely people I see a few times a year for a quick meal or cup of coffee. But I still like knowing that they are there and a part of my life, and knowing what's going on with them, if they want me to. I feel like Facebook and other social networking outlets have killed that face time for a lot of us; people feel like if they stay in touch electronically, that is sufficient. But it's not for me. I like the one on one time. I like seeing someone's face, talking to them in person, and feeling their physical presence around me. Even if it's only once every couple of weeks/months.
So again, I am too damn nice.
I guess I just don't want to feel that rejection. I've felt it a lot more than I care to admit in my life, and I don't particularly like it. Especially after the amount of effort I've personally made to maintain friendships. But perhaps it is just time for me to accept reality and let people go. I don't have to be on everyone's priority list, but for God's sake people... return my efffing emails or texts. Even if it's just to reject all of my suggestions, or tell me that you're too busy and have too much going on, or can't commit to a time. I can handle that. But don't just ignore me and then think you can pop up the day before (or the day of!) and ask me to hang out, most likely knowing full well that I am not available or have since made other plans. That's sneaky and shitty and I don't appreciate it. If you don't want to hang out, just tell me. But I get that you don't want to hurt my feelings. Well guess what, you are hurting my feelings by ignoring me and conveniently "forgetting" to respond to my inquiries when I've gone to significant lengths to find times I can fit you in. That hurts even more. So fuck you people.
I mean, really, I'm not an idiot. This is the mother-effing electronic age. Most of us check our email or FB or phones multiple times in a day (if not an hour...)
That's all I'm sayin'.
Ok I feel better. :)
**Let me also just add in here, that I am in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM downplaying those of my friends and acquaintances who ARE good about communication and scheduling! I love you and appreciate you all for that! Let's make plans to get together! I'm free __________, __________, and __________! LOL**
