Half a year

Twelve months ago, your Daddy and I had only just learned of your presence inside my tummy.

Twelve months ago, I didn't know if you were going to be a Natalie or a Tyler.

Twelve months ago, I didn't know if I was going to be a good mother to you.

Twelve months ago, we began our journey together.

The first part of that journey ended on December 29th, 2009.

I cannot believe that tomorrow you will be half a year old.

I cannot believe how much I am truly enjoying being your Mommy.

I always liked kids, and knew I'd like motherhood, but had no idea what joy and fulfillment you'd bring to my life.

Your little smile brightens up the room regardless of how dark it is outside. You fill my heart with such happiness. I live my days with you at the forefront of my mind, and every decision I make ultimately comes back to you. I cherish every second we spend together and am having so much fun watching you learn, discover, and delight in the world around you. I am so looking forward to watching you grow up. I want to teach you things, and have you teach me. I want to sing to you, and make you laugh. I want you to look at me with that look that I know only a child can give it's mother. I want to kiss you goodnight every single night that you'll let me.

I cannot believe that tomorrow you will be six months old already.

A little over six months ago, I had no idea how my life was about to change so suddenly.

A little over six months ago, I was wrapping gifts, listening to Christmas music, and getting ready to indulge in many a holiday feast, dreaming of what it would be like to share it with you the following year.

Six months ago, we were both fighting for our lives, and nobody could say for sure what was going to happen to either of us.

Six months ago, I felt such terror and anxiety every day visiting you in your little box, longing to snuggle you and cuddle you, but knowing how fragile and helpless you really were. 

Six months ago, I cried myself to sleep many nights because you weren't there with me.

Five months ago, I experienced overwhelming joy and elation the day we were told you could finally come home with us. All 4 lbs, 6 oz of you.

 

In only six months, we've already been through a lot together. But really, our journey has only just begun. And now  I'm watching you peacefully sleep in your crib, loving you more and more every second of every day. I am so lucky to have you, and I am so grateful that you are a happy and healthy little girl. I am so proud of you for fighting so hard and for being so strong. I love you so very much, Natalie Noodle. 

Happy 6 months to you, my beautiful daughter.

All My Love, 

Mommy